He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
