Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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