Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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