never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
