sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
