Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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