I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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