another moral hangover. fuck.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize