ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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