Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
time to smoke my breakfast
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
