the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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