Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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