I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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