I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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