Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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