Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
