having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
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