addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
