Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
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you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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