Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
