I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
