Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
