dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
ugly people sure do ruin things
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
