So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
