so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
