No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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