I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
