yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
