guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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