she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
