im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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