he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm always down for nudity.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
