No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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