I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
