More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
