you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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