she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
