Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
