another moral hangover. fuck.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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