My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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