I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
