I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
