dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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