Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
