dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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