just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
