I faked an abortion last night.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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