There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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