Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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