it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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