I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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