Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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