remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
