u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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