U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
