she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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