i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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