8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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