The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
