my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
