Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
