Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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