I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
