i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
did you just send me my own nude
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
