so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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